


Persistance of Memory

by departurebybaths



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Red & Green & Blue & Yellow | Pokemon Red Green Blue Yellow Versions
Genre: M/M, depression of a major character, doesn't quite follow canon, less about the game plot and more about the characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:38:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6745267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/departurebybaths/pseuds/departurebybaths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red and Green struggle with coming to terms with their falling out in separate ways, but it's not easy on either of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Green is referred to with his Japanese name because I can't think of him as Blue. This doesn't follow the game canon 100% so I easily could have gotten some facts wrong!

The real reason Red had become a trainer was because it was as close as running away as he'd ever get to.

He'd heard about the League Challenge from Professor Oak, who was suggesting any of the kids in town try it out. This sounded interesting, a chance to go out on your own, across the region, no supervision. That was all he needed to hear to be convinced. Well, that and there would be Pokemon involved. Red loved Pokemon but had never thought of really pursuing his interest. Pokemon were fascinating, he would go to any class or seminar he could to learn about them. He was ten years old and didn't think he needed to be thinking about his future just yet, despite what his mother thought. 

He talked to his mother about it over dinner, and she agreed to let him take it up without really asking much about it. He picked at his food and thought about what it might be like. He hoped he'd make a lot of friends and maybe find some really cool new Pokemon. His mother finally asked the question he'd been trying to avoid.

"Is your friend Green doing it too? He always was so good with those Pokemon, wasn't he?"

The words put together like that made his stomach churn. His face felt hot and he tried to think of an answer that would be acceptable. She of course had no idea that Green had ditched him quite some time ago, and he had no intention of telling her. The memory stung like venom every time he thought of it, was which pretty often. Work made it so that he was alone most of the time, therefore huge amount of her son's life were basically unknown to her. 

"Honey?"

Red tried to act normal and not let whatever it was he was feeling show. "I don't know. Maybe." He wished his mom would ask why he had hardly touched his food.  
She went back to reading her magazine and he put his dishes away and head to his room.   
He didn't really care anymore whether Green went or not.  
\---  
The next few days passed without incident. Red's mother had left him some money to get something to eat. Since Pallet was such a small town, it was pretty safe for a kid to walk around by themselves. However, he hated walking anywhere because he knew that Green was bound to be somewhere, and just seeing him brought back all the feelings he tried so hard to bury deep inside.

Of course, that's exactly what happened.

When he didn't see his former best friend, it didn't hurt so bad. He could twist the story in his mind to suit his mood, he could pretend it never happened, he could deal with it a bit better. But having to see him made the reality of the situation that much more real. 

Green wasn't out with his new friends, which Red couldn't decide if that was better or worse. He made sure to stay out of sight and pretend he didn't see him. That went okay for a while, he was able to buy his stuff and go. He started to walk home as quickly as he good.

Green grabbed his arm which made him go completely rigid. Red knew how he could get in the face of confrontation and didn't like getting that way often. He also knew that his former friend was not shy in starting things.

"Gramps tells me you're thinking of entering the League Competition. Tell me. Do you think you're going to beat me? You think you're better than me?"

Red definitely didn't think he was better than anyone, and he sure as hell didn't have the level of knowledge that Green had when it came to Pokemon. Not many people did, and it wasn't just a privilege that came with being the grandson of Professor Oak. 

"You know very well that I don't."

Green released his grip on the boy's arm. He looked serious, which was rare. "Good. Because I'm going to win and you're not going to take this away from me. Do you understand?"

Red stared him down but did not feel any part courageous. He felt extremely stupid and knew he looked the part. The sun was setting and he really wanted to be home, but he was stuck there and didn't know why he couldn't just walk away. 

Green started to say something and stopped suddenly, as if he couldn't think of anything to say.

They stood there a while.

"Good luck." And with that, he was gone. 

All Red could do was go home and sleep on his couch. He didn't feel like eating anymore.  
\----  
The first day of the challenge came, and Red hadn't slept the night before due to excitement and nerves. His mother was at work so he greeted the day by himself.   
Professor Oak was only handing out Pokemon to Green and himself because he didn't have many to share, and he knew that the two would be ready to handle the responsibility. Giving them an advantage, he decided to gift them Pokemon that weren't easy to find anywhere. Red was extremely thankful and excited for this. A rare Pokemon! Given to them by the one and only Professor Oak, too!

Green, of course, was late. 

"He'll get here soon enough," Even Oak could see that Red was getting annoyed. "You know him, wouldn't even be on time to his own funeral."  
After what seemed like an hour, Green finally showed up and before Professor Oak could even tell them anything, Red picked the first Pokemon he laid eyes on.

"Excuse me, greedy," Green snatched the pokeball out of Red's hands, "that's the one I wanted." 

Oak shot Green a disapproving glance. "Well Red, go ahead. Let's hope you get the better of the two." 

"Are you kidding Gramps? That's the one I wanted. Red isn't even good at Pokemon." He emphasized that with a push and went to go stand to the side.

Oak just coughed and explained what their journies would entail while Red picked a new Pokemon. After being presented with their Pokedexs', they would be on their way to start their new lives. 

Red left as fast as he could to get a head start. 

"Hey, Red. Battle me." Green demanded more than asked. "Don't you wanna see your new Pokemon?"

He did actually, but he had a feeling he'd loose, and that would be the most embarrassing way to start his journey. But if he won? Just thinking about seeing how defeated and upset Green would be at his loss was worth the risk.

Determined, he accepted. His first battle started off with his newly received Charmander, while Green got a Squirtle. Of course it would have worked out that way, and even he knew this was a serious disadvantage. 

His rival of course was happy about this outcome and made sure to rub it in. "Look at what you could have had, aren't you jealous?" 

He just wanted to slap that look off his face. 

He didn't need to when he won the battle. 

"You just got lucky, alright? Don't think you're better than me cause I lost this once." He shoved a little money Red's way. "Next time will be different. Smell ya later, kid." And with that Green was off, muttering to himself angrily.

Red decided he'd become the champion if not just to spite the rude little brat.


	2. Chapter 2

It was only a few days into the competition and there was already a lot of hype being built up. Reports were already flooding the TV and radio stations about who the best trainers were; Red was surprised to find that he was quite skilled with battling and raising his Pokemon, and started getting somewhat of a reputation as such. After that first battle with   
Green he was pretty serious about becoming better, whereas before it was more about the experience and opportunity. 

His mother was right; anger was a powerful emotion.  
\----  
Camping out in the forest was a scary but very necessary part of the League challenge; since most of the areas between towns and cities were long stretches of forest and trails, it wasn't as easy to stay at hotels. And most of the kids couldn't afford it, seeing as a lot of them had little to no knowledge on battling, therefore most of them lost pretty often. What a stupid idea, Red would think after every battle, who decides to take up a challenge they know nothing about? 

One particular night he was camping in the depths of Viridian forest and kept hearing noises. He had not anticipated that there would be so many wild Pokemon out there, but that made it easier for him to catch each and every type. Not only was he going to be a more skilled trainer than his rival, but he also was set on catching more Pokemon. Professor Oak had requested they send back anything they could so that he could further his research. Green couldn't be quiet if he wanted to, but Red was very, very good at sneaking up and catching his prey. 

Excitedly, he got out of the tent and snuck around the area to see what it could be. 

In the middle of a patch of grass was one of the most interesting Pokemon he'd ever seen, yellow and tiny and not very menacing looking. That was okay, unlike some people, he tended to think about things with functionality in mind and not just how cool and strong they'd make him look. 

But before he could take out a Pokeball, the creature spotted him and they both froze. When a Pokemon sees you, it becomes a lot harder to catch. This was one of the firsts things he'd learned back home, but a surprising amount of trainers ignored the rule. The creature did not seem threatened or ready to attack, instead it came up to him and checked him out. Red held out his hand and let the Pokemon make up his mind. 

It was because of Red's lack of malice that he met his Pikachu.   
\----  
The best way to find new leads and any new information was by talking to fellow trainers. Of course, you had to weed through it to figure out what was just rumor and what was really happening; some people said the gyms were really hard, while others had no issues with them whatsoever. 

A little girl -maybe six years old - with a rather cutesy team had just lost a battle with some rough and tough biker. Red felt bad for her because it wouldn've been obvious to anyone that this kid was just barely starting out.

He and Pikachu saw her crying and couldn't pass her by without doing anything. He crouched down to her level.

"Don't feel too bad. You'll get better." Her crying slowed down a bit.

The girl saw his Pikachu and cheered up a little. "I have a Pikachu too, she's a girl!" She brought her out and let it meet Red's. Sometimes it was easy to forget that not everyone entered this challenge with some degree of knowledge or skill. 

They stopped and chatted for a bit, mostly Red gave her advice and offered her anything helpful he could think of. 

It was getting late, so he walked her back to her tent. He didn't like the idea of a small child walking alone after dark.

"Since you were so nice in telling me stuff, I'll tell you something I heard too."

His eyes narrowed.

"I heard there's some kind of gang going around that's doing bad things to Pokemon. Someone in Cerulean city heard about it. Well, thanks mister!"   
\----------  
The last time he had battled his rival was before the battle with Brock. Both of them were headed to check out what was to be the final stage of the whole competition, the Indigo League Pokemon League building. 

This time around, he had no qualms about asking for a battle, and his instinct would be right. Green accepted his defeat with hardly any more grace than the last time.

"I've been hearing things about you Red. I've heard you're making a splash around here. That's cool and all, but I've been doing good too. Don't tell me the success is getting to your head?"

To say the least, Red was completely unphased by this. It was an odd outcome, but so far, this whole competition was giving him more confidence. Even when they were friends, anything Red did that was perceived better or cooler than his former friend was grounds for jealousy or an argument. Daisy once bought them ice cream, and when Red got the 'better' flavor, her younger brother had a fit and screamed until he got what he wanted. What a story. He could go to some reporter with that if he wanted.

"Let me ask you something." This was the most he'd spoken to him since before their falling out. "What if you don't win? What then?" 

That was enough for his competitor to turn to leave. "Ha, whatever you say, I'm definitely going to win, so I don't know what you're talking ab-"

Red grabbed his wrist. "Is your Grandpa's fame going to get you there? Maybe you should listen to what people are saying about you, Green. You seem so sure you're going to win. Maybe you should start winning then." 

Did he hit a nerve? "As if I care what you think," he definitely sounded affected, "I'm going now. Be prepared, next time's gonna be different."  
Red watched his rival walk away. 

Something heavy weighed down his chest, making his throat and eyes burn. The anger he'd been feeling all this time was hiding anything else he'd normally feel, and it was beginning to take a toll on him. 

There was once a time when Green wanted nothing more than to sit with his friend and listen to anything he was trusted with to hear. Red wasn't necessarily shy, he just didn't really see the need to deal with people who couldn't be trusted.

Maybe that why it was such a big deal, then. His trust was extremely misplaced.

He spent the rest of the day trying to push any feelings whatsoever by battling any and all trainer that would take him on.

By the end of the night he was a crying mess in his tent.

If he had known his rival was doing the same, he wouldn't have cared.  
\-----  
Absolutely everyone knew that rock types were practically impervious to electric Pokemon. Most people might forget that Pikachu didn't just know electric attacks. 

Going into the battle with Pewter City's gym leader, Brock, wasn't the most intimidating experience yet. Despite this being his first gym, Red knew that his team was pretty well rounded and worked surprisingly well together. 

Brock was a nice enough guy, and the team assembled to test your ability before the real match was pretty easy to wipe out. Soon enough, though, the disadvantage made it more difficult than first expected.

Red didn't try out any electric attacks when Brock's pokemon were not yet weak. If his years of studying and research tought him anything, it was that things such as disadvantage and opposite types did matter a majority of the time. He felt better when he was able to knock down the last pokemon.  
Brock did not miss a beat in awarding the Boulder badge. 

"You did really well, kid! I was skeptical when you brought that Pikachu out, but man, I haven't seen anything like that in years. You should have seen this other kid though...."

After winning his first real gym badge he decided to treat himself and his team by staying in a real hotel. They all got baths and a good meal for once. It was a bit humbling to see his efforts were paying off for once; most of his life was lived without any recognition or praise for any achievement he'd earned. For once he slept soundly and didn't feel too worried or stressed when he woke the next morning.  
\----  
Word had already gotten out that there was a kid who was taking the competition by storm, and Red was already appearing in the news as the next hottest trainer of the now. His competitor too was getting some recognition, but it was more often than not pointed out that his tactics were less than graceful.

Taking a break from his training, Red took a look at a newspaper he'd picked up from a department store.

"Kanto's Top Ten Trainer's of This Year's League Challenge!" The title read. He didn't really care what it said about himself, he already knew what he was about. There was someone else he wanted to check up on.

After scanning the article, his eyes focused on what he was looking for. 

"Green Oak, eleven years old, from Pallet Town. Grandson of the well respected Professor Oak. While his strength is undeniable, many fellow trainers report his method is brutal, his attitude snobby, while others simply think his success is a result of his family name. We ask Pewter City gym leader Brock on his experience with the young trainer.

'Brock, we've heard one of the few kids who got past your gym this year was Green Oak. What do you think of the Grandson of Professor Oak?'

'Well, let me just say this. The kid is strong, but if he wants to get far, he needs more than that. Take that other kid Red for example - he beat me too, but doesn't have such an attitude issue. Then again, you never know how these things go, so we'll see!'"

That was all Red needed to read before he was satisfied. 

If anything it motivated him to keep going.


	3. Chapter 3

Week one brought in a lot of new triumphs. So far Green had beaten both Pewter City and Celadon City's gyms - both before Red, too, which was a pretty great victory.   
It also marked the day that he would receive one of his favorite Pokemon, his Eevee.

Some of the kids near Misty's gym had been talking about who sounded like a very famous Pokemon researcher, Bill. He listened in for a second and discovered this Bill lived close by and was also looking into various ways to transport Pokemon via computer. He knew this was absolutely something his grandfather would be interested in, so he decided to check it out.

After about half an hour of walking through some very long paths and regularly checking his map, he arrived at what appeared to be the cottage of Bill's. He knocked on the door and was immediately greeted by someone who did not at all match his vision of a great Pokemon researcher.

Bill was a tall, lanky, withdrawn looking young man who appeared to be maybe nineteen years old. His house was cluttered with papers and books and several high-tech looking PCs. Nothing like the clean and organized lab Professor Oak worked in. 

"Can I, uh, help you?" Bill adjusted the collar of his shirt and waited somewhat impatiently.

Green introduced himself, not forgetting to throw in his Grandpa's name, hoping it would be enough to get in Bill's good graces. 

"Oh, yeah! My bad! I know who you are! Come in!"

He stepped around the carefully constructed path of miscellaneous research material, eventually making his way towards the huge wall of computers. In the midst of the mess there was a huge machine that looked somewhat like the machines in Pokemon Centers. 

Bill explained the basics of the transportation system and how it could be linked through PCs region wide, and one day he hoped world wide. 

"There are a few bugs with it I'm trying to work out. It lets you transport them alright but I'm working on storing them too. Can you imagine being able to do something like that? Man, that would be a trip." The fact that he could even make a machine that could do any of this was a wonder to Green. Even his Grandpa couldn't do something this great. He asked if he was willing to demonstrate it for him.

Bill got Green's information so that he could transfer something to his PC account. As an example he used an Eevee, a Pokemon that the younger boy had never heard of or seen before.

"Eevee's great to have because you can use different stones and stuff to evolve it into any kind of type you want. That's something I know your Grandfather has been researching. Maybe having it'd be beneficial to him, you know?" 

After experimenting with the system a bit more, Green had to be on his way. Before he left he even got to add some of his pokemon to his pokedex. He knew his Grandpa would appreciate it, and it gave him a chance to learn more. He thanked Bill for the Pokemon and also the chance to see this new project in person.

"No problem kid. I've heard you're a pretty good trainer. And I'm a fan of you Grandfather's work. Hopefully you can help him out with that Eevee research." They shook hands, and Bill took something out of his pocket.

"I've got a few of these laying around, can't really use them though. Not really my thing. Figured a kid like you with such an interest in Pokemon might like them."

He handed Green a ticket to the SS Anne. Everyone in Kanto knew this was not only a very fancy ship, but only came by once a year. He'd never gotten to go before and was even more excited to learn that there was going to be some kind of Pokemon event held there too. 

As he left, he knew he'd be eternally grateful for Bill's hospitality.

Not surprisingly, Red was making his way up to Bill's place. Probably had heard the rumors too. Too bad there'd be nothing left for him, and he doubted someone as sophisticated as Bill would give him the time of day. Then again, there was no denying Red was becoming known as a strong and hard working trainer.

"Hey, buddy. Are you going to Bill's house? I just got back." 

Red seemed annoyed and just shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so." And then he was on his way.

It was a major blow to the heart, to say the least. He'd tried, even when he didn't really want to. After all, it wasn't his fault he was stronger, better, less of a baby.

Green still wasn't sure how to make amends, if it was even possible anymore.  
\-----  
Not everyone was invited to board the SS Anne, a large luxury cruise, but Green felt validated when his efforts earned him a trip. 

He was genuinely surprised to see that Red had made it too.

They both traded in their tickets and didn't say much; mainly asking about their pokemon, swapping rumors, bragging about their badges. It seemed extremely stilted and uneasy. When it came to the subject, Green suggested they board together.

"I don't really wanna room with a stranger, do you?"

Red hesitated and shook his head. "Not really." 

"Board with me. I won't bug you, okay?" He placed a hand on Red's should, who in turn flinched, but didn't push it away.

They were off to an okay start, which was all he really wanted.

They didn't spend much time together the first night, mainly went their own ways and battled as many people as they possibly could. Green found himself doing fairly well considering the caliber of trainers aboard were far higher than what he'd encountered so far. They were also more graceful at loosing. It also seemed like there were hardly any kids. Maybe he was even more special that he thought. 

Word traveled pretty fast that the captain was handing out an HM to anyone that got far enough to his quarters. After what felt like hours, he was able to advance to the top deck.

Yet there was Red, ready again to take what he wanted.

"Stop right there, buddy." They were backed up to the wall, uncomfortably close. "Are you trying to get the HM too? You think I'm gonna let you?" 

Red, per usual, seemed unphased by his words. "Yes, that's exactly why I'm here." It wasn't enough that he'd already gotten the same opportunity to get here anyway. "If you want it that bad, then beat me. It's yours then."

This time Green was NOT going to loose. Whatever kind of loosing streak he had going on before, he was way past that; his success tonight was proof of that. 

Somehow his Wartortle's advantage over Red's Charmeleon (which he was shocked to see had even evolved) didn't matter, as it took less than five minutes to knock down all four of his Pokemon. The team he had arranged accordingly to beat that entitled brat's own. 

There was a moment of silence as they replayed the situation in their head's. Something was up. Red was the only one who couldn't be beat; despite his weakness as an individual, he was an exceptional trainer, that much he could admit.

"Tell me one thing, Red. Are you trying to win for yourself, or do you want to see me fall? I'm not going to be mad, just tell me."

Red turned to the door. "I think maybe both. How about you? Are you trying to make me fall?" And with that, he was already on his way to claim his HM. The very one Green so desperately felt he was owed.

All he could do was retire to his room and reflect.

Maybe Red was right. Maybe he did owe this to him.

How can you make up for your own mistakes?  
\-----  
They attended dinner separately and didn't speak before going to their rooms.

Red was off to take a shower and had asked for him to watch over his Pokemon. He hated to admit it, but that Pikachu was pretty cute, and pretty well behaved. Eevee was more than happy to play with her new friend, which was fortunate because for the first time in a while, Green did not want to focus on Pokemon or battling or anything that would   
remind him of his repeated defeat.

He flipped through a TV guide and tried to see what he was missing out on back home. One his favorite shows was ending soon; he wondered if his friend - though that word hadn't seem to fit anymore - knew this. They used to watch a lot of TV together, back before any of that business had gone down.

Speaking of which, he was taking an abnormally long time showering. Green pretended not to care.

Sometime later, Red returned and sat on the bed. Green wordlessly passed the guide over and closed his eyes as the other boy brushed his hair and read through it. 

"Well damn, I'm gonna miss it, aren't I." He heaved a sigh and returned the guide back. "Was my Pikachu good?" 

They looked over to their Pokemon to find they were already asleep. One thing he knew for sure was that they both did really care for their teams, he could respect that about Red. 

After the lights were off, both boys tried to sleep, but there was a very strange vibe in the room. Eventually he could tell Red had fallen asleep. Though not very loud, he had a habit of snoring since he laid on his back. It was almost cute, but Green let that thought out as soon as it had come. 

It had occurred to him that they hadn't slept in the same proximity for quite some time. The last time was the night before their argument, which was now about a year ago. He finally placed that this was what was so off.

An hour had passed with no sleep. Maybe he wasn't used to his surroundings; they were on a ship after all and this was his first time. With what little light was cast from the window, he focused on their room. Their bags, the sleeping Pokemon, and Red in the other bed. He focused on the other boy sleeping. His head was turned in his direction but his face looked calm. Green noticed that he had exceptionally long eyelashes and extremely fair skin, giving him a delicate look. In the back of his mind those features seemed familiar but it had been a while since he'd seen them in this way. The kid looked cold, and for a second he'd debated if he should give him another blanket. That thought made his chest feel warm which he tried to ignore.

"Why do you do this to me?" He threw a pillow in the sleeping boy's direction, which fell abruptly onto the floor. "Why do you confuse me so much?"

Finally he started to fall asleep, but something pulled him out of it. Instantly he recognized it as Red in the other bed. Annoyed, he opened his eyes and was about to yell at him to shut up, until he noticed he seemed to be having some kind of a bad dream. When they were a lot younger, around the time his mom was away from home less and less, Red had a lot of nightmares. He would breath frantically and groan as if he was in a lot of pain. The last time he could recall this happening was sometime around the age of seven or eight.

Hesitating, Green got up to wake up his friend. Time hadn't made him forget that Red was best woken up gently, otherwise he got scared and disoriented. He woke up with a jolt, out of breath and breaking out in a cold sweat.

"Oh my god," he whispered over and over, gripping Green's shoulders. He was shaking and clearly very out of it. It would be best to let him wake up a bit before trying to figure what had happened out.

Eventually he let go and sat up, clutching his knees to his chest like a scared child. He had an overall ghostly look; his pale skin stood out against his black hair and circles under his eyes. He was so plainly exhausted - in this moment he no longer appeared the eleven year old child he really was. 

Cautiously, he placed a hand on Red's back.

"I feel sick, Green," His voice was barely above a whisper, but he sounded extremely disturbed. Without hesitation he walked him to the bathroom. After what sounded like very painful vomiting, they sat on the floor and waited for it to pass.

"Thanks. You can go back now if you want. I don't want my Pokemon left alone." It sounded less like a suggestion and more like a demand. Deep down he felt a bit hurt. 

He wondered if Red had felt that way too, once.

"They'll be okay for a second." 

Red simply nodded and rested his head against the wall. 

"Maybe you're just sea sick?" This was a stupid suggestion and he realized it once he'd said it. Unlike himself, the other boy wasn't as good at vocalizing his concerns and often turned them inward. Whatever was going on, it was taking a toll on his health. He finally appeared to feel better and brushed his teeth.

They got back to their room and laid in their beds. This time it was Red that could not fall back asleep.

"Hey," he turned to look at Green, waking him up sightly. "Are you still mad about, you know, what happened?"

It took him a few minutes to keep his composure and think of an answer. Truthfully, he wasn't quite sure himself.

"I don't know. I don't think so. You...you made a mistake, and I have to accept that."

"I've come to terms with a lot of things. I think you have more accepting to do."  
\-----  
Like all kids, he and Red played a lot of different games, usually something stupid like trying to hypnotize each other or pretending they were this and that.

For a while they had a little routine where they'd play house.

They didn't really know if that was something other boys really did, but they knew Daisy had done it at some point and that was all they needed to know. And besides, they were a younger - probably seven or so. Neither one of them had much time with their parents; looking back on it now, Green realized this was probably the only reason they even did this.

He, of course, wanted to be the dad in the family, leaving Red as the mom and whatever Pokemon around the house as the kids. It started off pretty harmless. One day Dad was leaving for work and Mom was to see him off.

"My mom always kissed my dad when he was leaving you know."

A kiss! It seemed so intimate in their minds, anytime people kissed it movies it seemed like such a big deal. He'd overheard his sister telling her friends about some girl she knew who had "done it" with her boyfriend and discovered that kissing was a very taboo thing. He and Red both then guessed it must mean it was something very off limits.

And anything off limits was worth pursuing.

Red blushed slightly but decided if they wanted the game to be realistic this was going to be what it took. 

It wasn't anything spectacular, like the kind of kiss you'd give your mom before bed. But to them they had done something wild.

They did this only a few times again before realizing it was confusing them. Neither of them had ever seen a boy kiss another boy in real life or in movies, so it must not be normal.

They never talked about it again until one later summer evening years later, in the crawlspace under Red's house where they played a lot. They were talking about their lives and other trivial things like what new video games were at their arcade. 

The subject got around to the Pokemon League challenge that would be coming up in just under a year.

"Do you think you'll be going?" He asked, not really sure if he was going himself.

Red thought for a second and shrugged. "We couldn't go together, could we." They both knew it was an individual thing and that if they'd go, they'd be winning for themselves and not with each other.

They sat and thought silently for a long time, neither one wanting to talk about what being separated would entail. Green couldn't place it but he knew that things were changing.   
Each time he was with Red it got more and more serious and less fun and that confused him greatly. His friend was becoming very emotional and was too hard to figure out anymore. Red's head found its way on his shoulder; Green didn't bother to move it.

"Do you think we'll be friends forever?"

Neither of them had ever given much thought to what would happen when they grew up beyond what they wanted to be or what kind of house they wanted. 

"Yes, we will," he finally answered, but it didn't feel quite right leaving his mouth.

Whoever initiated the kiss - it was pretty hard to tell - it was different than the last time they'd done it. It didn't seem like they were just playing a game anymore; it seemed very real. Green guessed based on movies he saw that he was supposed to hug Red.

But before it had a chance to end, Daisy bursted in (or tried to, she was too big for the crawlspace), out of breath and seemingly annoyed.

She grabbed her brother's arm. "Green! Do you know how late it is?! Grandpa and I have been looking everywhere for you, dinner was supposed to an hour ago!" She caught her breath while Red looked at the ground, his face flushed and shameful.

"And what are you two doing down here?! Don't you know boys who do things like that turn out to be weird?"

They froze. So they were right. Boys WEREN'T supposed to do things like that. 

After a long pause, Red spoke up. "Don't tell my mom...?"

Daisy never did, but after that, it was different. Green stayed clear of his friend. He didn't know about Red, but he himself most definitely did NOT want to turn out weird. 

He didn't know it yet, but he would end up 'different' anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

Late July turned into early August, and Green rarely stopped his quest to think about anything except the victory he would soon face. He was about to receive his fourth gym badge, ahead of his rival yet again. Even if Red beat him in every battle they had, at least he was slower and didn't seem to be catching up in pace. 

He'd been checking in with his Grandpa too, giving him any and all updates he could about new pokemon, new discoveries; research was his favorite part of his journey and the one thing he took seriously above all else. 

Then came what he would come to think of as the worst point of the challenge in many ways. 

A kid he battled had told him of a creepy place just off the path called Lavender Town. The place supposedly was home to a graveyard and a massive radio tower, with not much else. Actually, he remembered the place pretty quickly because even he'd heard some weird stuff out of there. Sometimes their radio stations would have these really weird bursts of sound, like static or random noises (he tried to chalk it up to a bad signal) but he'd heard from other people that even with good reception this still happened. 

Right away when he arrived he could see that other trainers had got the same idea as he did. The place was full of kids and more were trying to find proof of ghosts (as if such a thing existed) than battle of catch new Pokemon, like Cubone. 

Red was there too. 

The last time they'd talked was on the S.S Anne. And it had been awkward. It didn't surprise him much that he'd be in such a place; Red, when they were younger, always wanted to watch scary movies and those weird TV specials about ghosts.

It didn't seem so bad, very cheesy. He wondered if it was staged at all, because those old ladies seemed to be hamming it up. This was fucking stupid. Like a really, really, low budget horror movie. Those kids who he talked to had to be babies or were very good at exaggerating.

He'd show everyone here he was no baby. 

That didn't go as planned, he was scared shitless by the end of it all. 

After exiting the tower and making out alive somehow (it was scary, Jesus Christ, worse than he'd expected) and after catching a few new Pokemon, he figured he'd try and find Red. Lately he found tensions were better resolved when they weren't ignored, as hard as that was.

Red was sitting on a bench, going through his Pokedex. Green cautiously sat beside him and didn't say much at first. 

"This place is really scary. I mean, you know I don't usually believe in that stuff but damn..." 

Red closed the device and didn't turn to look at him. "It was okay. I'm trying to leave as soon as I can. I have a sick headache." He looked ridiculously tired, and no doubt being in a dark, cramped, eerie tower made his condition worse. He rested his elbows on his knees and threw his head in his hands.

"Yeah? You've looked better. Something the matter?"

Red shook his head and let out a tired sigh. His skin was pale and his arms were getting pretty skinny. And Red used to be a big eater; anytime he'd go to Green's house he would eat anything he was allowed to. 

"You don't fool me, kid. Go get some food, go rest." 

Red sat back up but said nothing. He really did look awful. "I have to go now. This place is making me feel...weird."

Now this was a new challenge. Red was eager to get red of Green. And Green wasn't one to leave when he didn't want to.

"Yeah? So do I. Let's go find a place."

Red narrowed his eyes and had a look of suspicion. "You know, you've been following me around a while now."

Not on purpose - Red kept lagging just one step behind, that couldn't be helped. 

"We're both heading the same way. Haven't you noticed? EVERYONE is going this way. Come on! Come with me."

Red looked at the sky and his expression was one that Green could not quite place. This was what confused him probably most. Red used to be very easy to read, he was always very eager to share what was going on, or was awful at keeping a secret. Now, he could have been going on and the only person that would ever know was himself.

Maybe it was better off that way; it might get ugly if everything got spilled out.

Red must have felt this too, as he walked away without a word.  
\---------  
What started off as a fun way to spend the summer was becoming a responsibility that the young prodigy didn't know if he could handle.

His grandpa was talking to him less and less (probably wrapped up in his new discoveries, no doubt) and Team Rocket was starting to appear more and more. 

To say that dismantling a gang, a literal gang, by himself would be hard was an understatement. What they lacked in technical skill they made up for in quantity and ruthlessness. It didn't take a genius to see that ten year old kids being harassed, mugged, and defeated by criminal adults was wrong on many levels. The police had hardly made an effort to stop this from happening (many people suspected the police force had connections with Team Rocket) and not many trainers were qualified enough to take them down.  
Even he was hesitant to even try. 

The whole world seemed to be crashing down and he wasn't sure who or what could stop it.  
\-------  
Erika was the grass leader of Celadon City; he'd been hearing a lot about her (one guy said she only battled girls, another said she had narcolepsy, whatever that was) and again was eager to see how she really was. 

After hitting up the department store (and maybe the game center, but he needed a break), Green was set to finally complete half of the region's gyms. 

To say the least, Erika was not at all like the rumors he'd been hearing, not that he put any stock in rumors. She battled both sexes and though she did get sleepy she didn't just faint. She was also beautiful in a way he couldn't place.

He supposed he liked her short black hair.

Beating her was hard, considering she used grass types which didn't weaken well against his Wartortle. After more time than he'd hoped for, he won by a tiny margin. Red would probably fare better with his Charmeleon.   
The badge was girly and ugly but he didn't care; it was a victory and he'd take it without hesitation.   
\----------  
It was around this time he started paying attention to gossip and the press. 

Maybe being the grandson of Samuel Oak wasn't going to work out in his favor. It was getting tiring having that be his reputation.

Take for example the magazine he'd picked up at a grocery store. He tried ignoring the full page about how Red ("the new budding trainer and potential champion?!") was going to kick the asses of the gym leaders of the elite four. It was harder to ignore the section that blatantly called him out on his "arrogance".

"Green Oak - Age 11 - Pallet Town  
Grandson of the esteemed Professor Samuel Oak. Though he's made a splash in the competition so far, already beating four of the eight Pokemon gyms, other trainers don't seem to think he'll make it much farther.

We interviewed several trainers, asking what they thought of the young man.  
(The following trainer interviewed asked to remain anonymous).

Pokemon Weekly Reporter: 'So, (Trainer), you say you battled Green Oak back in Celadon. Tell me, how did that go?'

Trainer: 'Well, he was a strong trainer, which is sad considering that's all he seems to have going on. I did lose to him but his attitude was not so great.'

P.W Reporter: 'Can you explain?'

T: 'He's got his vibe, like he thinks he can't be beat. And like I said, he is a good trainer but you need more than that. The way he acts, it's like he thinks his last name's all he needs to get him to the final four.'

P.W Reporter: 'Many others have said that as well. Can you further explain?'

T: 'No surprise there! When he's fighting, he's got this smug aura. Like I said, he thinks he's untouchable. No compassion, no sportsmanship, just an attitude. When I lost, my Marowak was pretty hurt, and he just acted like...I don't know. Like 'that's what you get for loosing.' 

Several other sources have said that Green Oak can't back his skill up with anything other than his connection to his Grandfather. Will this be enough to get him anywhere, or will his arrogance be his downfall? Some even wonder if Professor Oak is giving him special handouts.'

That was where he stopped reading.

He should have seen this coming, but he didn't.

What was it called? Typecasting? Something like that.

People were deciding to pay attention to his family name and not the fact that he was only eleven yet was still able to defeat talented trainers, research and discover a plethora of new information, and was studying this Rocket situation more than most people seemed to be.

They wanted to focus on his supposed attitude and big head, which in reality was confidence in his ability and knowledge.

In any situation there has to be the good guy and the bad guy. Except when he read things like this, the whole world seemed to be the good guy, and he seemed to be the bad one. 

How could a magazine pick on a kid like that!? God! This is exactly what he should have expected! And why wasn't his Grandpa using his position to stop these jackasses from publishing this garbage? 

The whole world was going to see a side of Green he didn't think existed.

His downfall would not be his connections, his smug attitude, nor his power.

It would be the fact that he was unable to admit he was too scared of the world to show any kind of vulnerability. If he showed weakness or hesitation then nobody would take him seriously.


	5. Chapter 5

It was dawn by the time Red had reached Saffron City. His focus these days was intense; he only let himself think of the end goal and not much else. 

Of course there was the Team Rocket epidemic. So far it wasn't a challenge, but boy, were they idiots. And they seemed to run around Saffron in packs. 

Truthfully, he knew Silph Co had things that he wanted, and in his mind, needed. His luck so far was good, and what he was after was the master ball. Maybe not right away - if what he'd heard was true, it was still being developed - but if the plans got in the hands of Team Rocket, then there was no telling what they'd use it for. 

Besides, something in the air wasn't clean. It was odd. They were literally everywhere. It would be dumb to think, going into the whole challenge, that there wouldn't be some kind of opposing force, some kind of distraction, whatever. But this seemed way too well planned out to be some dumb, harmless group. All kinds of rumors were coming out, and none of them were good. All he wanted to do was finish this challenge, and these people were getting in his way.

The members themselves were far weaker than he'd expected. 

It was the boss that he had trouble with.

Finally he was face to face with a man he'd only heard about in passing - Giovanni. There was something about this man he couldn't place; he did not feel sinister as one would expect but he also was not the kind of man you'd want to trust.

Sitting down at a large oak desk, he hardly noticed anyone had entered the room. He pulled out a cigar and puffed on it thoughtfully.  
"Now this I wasn't expecting. They really meant it when they said you were a kid."

Red stared Giovanni down. 

"I'm the first to admit my men aren't very good. You see, I leave the important work to myself." He stubbed out the cigar and stood up. "They're not supposed to be good. They're supposed to stop people from getting as far as you did. You want to battle me."

Giovanni was definitely harder to beat than the other Rockets- Red found himself worrying about his Pokemon. Now would be an awful place to end his winning streak.

Fortunately this did not happen. Giovanni seemed to be okay with the outcome.

Leaving Silph Co, he suddenly realized he hadn't seen anyone try and stop them besides himself. But his life was pretty repetitive. Pushing people out who got in the way of what he wanted was something he knew how to do very well.  
\------  
Before challenging the Saffron City Gym, he needed to make sure his Pokemon were in perfect shape. His method of training was to push himself beyond his limit so he wouldn't have to do the same to them. Maybe that was why so many people were either dropping out or falling out of this challenge. They didn't see it as that; you can't expect things to fall into place on their own, you have to push and push and work for it. And nobody seemed to be working very hard.

The leader, Sabrina, was very mysterious as he had heard, but she also seemed to have an aura about her that was neither self righteous nor weak. He liked her; like himself, she seemed to take her job very seriously, and didn't mess around. 

She also took her loss very gracefully.

A moment of silence took place before she spoke. "You cannot last as you are. Drive is important but obsession is not. I sense you are thinking too hard about some things, and not hard enough about others."

As much as he wanted to rebuke, there was some weight to her words that reached him too deeply for his comfort. 

"You want to hear more."  
Red nodded and worried about what else she might sense. When he'd first come to Saffron, he wasn't so sure if the sixth sense shtick was real or not. But he wanted to believe now.

Sabrina closed her eyes and concentrated. "You are having an internalized struggle. There is something which you cannot change that you are trying to push away." He felt as if he was being shaken to his core. "And there is someone who you believe to be deceitful that is pure at heart. This person is lost, as you are."

"How do I change this?"

Her expression changed but remained calm. "I too have gone down this path before. I understand how you may be feeling. And that is not something I am able to answer for you, as I do not know your true intentions. It does not seem as if you do either. What I can tell you is this. If you do not slow down and consider what it is that you want, you will find yourself in a place you will not like. You are but a child. Fate seems to have been hard on you, but you are making it harder."

"Are you trying to say that I'm not going to win?"

She quickly stood up and handed him his badge. "This I cannot tell you. I cannot tell you everything; those who seek a higher power often do not want to hear the truth. You are too young to be worrying about things the way you do."

He stood, frozen in place, not knowing the meaning of her advice. If he was going to win, complete the league challenge, he could not slow down.

"The boy you have affections for is not going to listen to the words I gave him. I am leaving it up to you to decide what it is you want."

And then she left, leaving Red feeling both enlightened and more confused that he'd ever been in his entire life.  
\-----  
There was one thing she was right about; he needed to take a break. Even if it was just for his Pokemon; though he treated them all equally with respect and care, they needed to take a rest from battle.

By the time he had finished the gym battle and recovered from a minor melt down, it was sunset. 

Sitting in his hotel room, Red felt as if he should call his mother. They hadn't spoken since before he left home. He briefly wondered if Green had been in contact with his sister and grandfather. He probably had. They all had a seemingly good relationship. He checked the time and realized she was probably still at work. That was okay. He didn't really want to call her anyway. 

It was getting a bit tiring, not having anyone to talk to.

At times he felt as if he'd made a mistake. Talking to the press was different. They all asked different variations of the same questions. They asked pointless questions. He did not want to talk about what he thought of other trainers, what his plans for the future were, what he'd do if he defeated the Elite Four. He had hardly figured that out himself.   
He hated when they pointed out how young he was. There were other trainers out there that were younger. He'd met kids that couldn't have been any younger than six or seven. And he was starting to feel a lot older. 

It made him really think. His mother's disinterest, the looming presence of Team Rocket, his feeling of aimlessness as of late.

Something suddenly seemed really wrong about the whole thing. Adults were asking children about their future. There was a system that operated on the fact that kids were being let out of parental supervision. People seemed to be oblivious to this. Maybe they weren't thinking as hard as he was. 

Maybe this was what Sabrina meant when she said he needed to start thinking about some things harder.

It changed his perspective a little bit. 

Sleep wasn't coming easy anymore, nor was his appetite. This was one of the things he was trying to ignore; anytime he'd noticed it, he tried to tell himself it was good, it meant he was so driven and so prepared to become champion. 

What did becoming the champion even entail? Where does it take you? Do you get anywhere? Or was it a brief moment in time, you win, you claim the title, and before you know it, it's over.

Why hadn't he thought of these things before he left?

Was Green thinking of these things? Was Green going days without sleep? Why did he care?

Thinking was hard, not thinking was harder. When he'd first left home he wasn't thinking, he was just doing whatever he had to. He didn't have to think - everything seemed so clear. Beat all the gyms, complete the pokedex, come out on top in the end. And now it seemed he had never thought about why he was doing it. Why he was actually doing it. Who was this for? Himself?

Either way, it was too late to back down now. He was too far in. All there was left to do was win. On his own.

What a scary thought.  
\-----  
He woke up in the middle of the night to the phone ringing next to his bed. Whoever was calling him so late was out of their damn mind. And how did they know he was staying here?

He let it ring for a while and decided to pick it up.

"Well finally! Where are you right now?"

Only Green would be this rude. 

"You should know, you called me. Where are YOU?"

Green laughed - it was shocking to think he actually missed the sound - and then stayed quiet a second. "If I told you, would you come see me?"

It was shit like this that confused Red most. They never seemed to be in sync anymore. They used to want to spend every second together; now, they needed each other at opposite times and neither of them would ever admit that.

Besides. Red hadn't pushed Green out. 

There was a very long, awkward silence.

"Hello? Are you there? Did you fall asleep?"

No, he hadn't, it had been the other way around. Green had dropped him some time ago, and for whatever reason seemed to think all was okay. With no apology, no explanation.   
"No, I'm awake. I just don't know what to say. I don't understand this."

The whole thing felt pathetic; neither of them knew how to say whatever the other wanted to hear. 

Green sounded like he was somewhere outside, probably at a pay phone. "Listen..." The sound was disrupted briefly by wind. "What happened that one time, at my house....we don't have to think about it...if that's what this is all about..." He couldn't see it but he knew Green was throwing in some ridiculous hand gestures.

This could go two ways.

Either Red could say no, hang up the phone, and that would be the end - after that they'd probably avoid each other like the plague, left wondering forever what happened - or he could say okay, fine, maybe go scope things out, see if it's not just some big set up.

"Tell me where you are."

He let out a slightly defeated chuckle. "I'm outside your hotel. I saw you go in earlier. Now that I told you, you gotta come see me."

What was the worst that could happen?  
\----  
Red got ready as quickly as possible and went outside to find his friend - no, that word still did not sound accurate - and figure out what was going on.  
It didn't feel too weird, seeing him casually for the first time in a while. But it didn't feel right either.

He had his hands in his pockets and leaned against the pay phone, probably trying to look like some tough cool guy in a movie. It didn't work. 

"Why are you awake so early? You're not tired?" Red's own voice sounded absolutely strained, and he must have looked twice as bad.

His former friend walked over to him and didn't say anything for a while.

"So, I guess we should probably talk about a few things." 

A giant weight fell to the pit of his stomach (he was sure Green was feeling it too) and his mouth felt like it was glued shut. What was there to say? He thought he'd been pretty clear on what happened. 

"I guess I'll start. I'm not mad at you about it. I'm just...I don't know. I guess I just don't get why you did what you did."

So this was the situation. He should have expected as much. Rather than saying, 'Sorry, we were being dumb, maybe it was just a dumb little accident, let's move on', it had to be this way.

Maybe when he was older, there'd be something about this that he'd understand, maybe he'd get it. Maybe there'd be a time that this wouldn't seem like a big deal. It had hurt. It still hurt. And he didn't get why he had to be the one to take the blame.

"You said it was my mistake. You said I'm the one who messed up, but that's not how I see it. Don't you remember? You started it. If you never did it the first time it wouldn't have ended up like it did."

Now Red wondered what Sabrina's advice had been for Green. He should have asked. Was Red the boy Green had affections for? Did she tell him Red was pure at heart, that he was lost, just like him? 

"Green, you have to understand something. I'm not upset about it like you are. I know what I did and I know that I, um, am okay about it. But I think you're trying to act like you're not. What would have happened if Daisy hadn't walked in?"

Green did not take much time to think about this. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore, okay? I don't know how to answer that. I don't wanna know how to answer that. I don't think what happened was okay, even if I started it. I don't wanna be a weirdo. Boys aren't supposed to do things like that."

Red didn't know how to respond properly. Whatever he wanted to say, he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. 

He couldn't deny that he didn't know of a single other boy that did things like that. But maybe they did, and just didn't say anything about it. Or maybe they didn't, and Red just looked like a weirdo.

They talked for a little while longer, instead sharing stories about their journey. 

It seemed that Green, as always, was one step ahead. But that didn't mean anything. Nothing he said seemed to have any meaning anymore. Red felt stupid for actually thinking that this talk could have improved things. Green was a fairly astute person; nothing he did was ever his fault, nothing he did would ever have any repercussions. 

Red finally had the answer. After he became champion, he would run as far away from this mess as he possibly could. He would run away from all of it. 

That seemed like a fine idea.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone for the lack of update. I've been very busy lately + I don't like to write unless I have good ideas. Hopefully this passes the audition.

Green wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now.

It was nearly four am but the city was still awake. Everyone seemed happy, except him. Couples walked around happily, rubbing salt in his wounds (though in his mind, there were no wounds, that kind of thing was below him). He found a park bench and sat down, still not tired, just extremely worn out. 

Exactly what the hell was he supposed to do?

Now he was getting jealous. Of the couples. Except he didn't know what there was to be jealous of (except he had an idea, but it wasn't one that made any sense) and he was too young to have a girlfriend. At least, that was what Daisy was always telling him when he chased around the girls that hung around places in town.

Daisy was always telling him a lot of stuff, and it always pissed him off.

For starters, she was always running her mouth and tattling on him. She'd told their grandfather about what she'd seen with Red, and he tried to deny it, but of course nobody believed him. That earned him a lecture about how boys should never act like that, don't do it again, stop hanging out with him, boys are supposed to kiss girls. But when he asked if he could kiss girls (which seemed disgusting), he was told no, he was way too young. Either way, he didn't want them to hate him, he didn't want to turn out "wrong".   
She also liked to flaunt her boyfriends around like it was nothing, and he hated this. Seeing the way she behaved was disgusting. Seeing her all over him, kissing and hugging him, was beyond awful (partly because nobody wants to see their sister kissing anyone). The word boyfriend was awful. Because if that was how relationships worked, maybe he never had a "best friend". But what else would he and Red possibly be? If it was that hard to figure out, maybe they shouldn't be anything.

And he hated the way she teased him. 

She noticed one time that he never seemed to look at the girls on TV, the ones with way too much makeup, lumps in the wrong places, nothing he could find attractive. Instead, he'd always be hanging up posters of whatever male singer was popular at the moment, or watching their videos, or talking about how cool the new guy on the new show was. Apparently that was "weird" and not at all "what boys should do". 

"It's almost 2000!" She'd say, throwing her hands spastically over her head, "People shouldn't act like that anymore!"

What were boys supposed to do? Drool over stupid girls and have no brains? She never wanted to explain what "that kind of stuff" was and why it wasn't "okay".  
This very thing was why he preferred hanging out with Red all the time. Red never judged his actions, never called him weird, and he thought the same stars were cool too (save for some of the girly groups, Green hated those with a passion); maybe calling them handsome was overboard, but hey, he wasn't wrong exactly...and Red didn't back away from hugs like his other friends did, didn't get weirded out by sharing the same bed.

By now he knew what he wanted. He also knew that he could never have it. 

If his family felt the way they did, surely most of the world must feel that way too.  
\-----  
By the time Red had beat all the gyms, he was already a star. People all over the nation knew who he was, and they ate it up. The last champion was not a kid, and neither was the one before. If he could beat the Elite Four then he'd be beating a world record.

He did not think he could do it. He did not know if he wanted to anymore.

Currently, the media was choosing to focus on the fact that he'd essentially dissmanteled Team Rocket on his own. Giovanni had resigned; now Red was the top player. Nobody had seen this coming.

Red was not dealing with his newfound fame very well. Not only were cameras and people constantly in his face, he still did not have answers for their questions. He could not say what he was thinking. The stress of the situation was such a burden that he hadn't seen coming and thus did not prepare for. It was a case of too much, too fast, too young. And it troubled him that nobody was seeing this.

He wanted to give himself time to prepare. If the gyms were hard (which they weren't really, but he liked to err on the side of caution) then the Elite Four would be impossible.   
\-----  
There was someone Green needed to see before he set off for the final four.

When he arrived back in his hometown, he was exhausted. He knew his Grandfather would be at work in the lab as usual. Last time he'd been there, there was so much he didn't know. This time, he was excited to show off how well he'd done, how much new information he'd found.

He watched his Grandfather work for a while, ate dinner, and finally got down to business.

Oak didn't seem nearly as excited to see Green's Pokedex as he'd hoped.

"Well, Green, this is all very incredible. But I'm afraid Red has already completed his. Either way I am very proud of both of you, I knew he'd make it. Are you prepared?"

It was things like this that made him so pissed off at his reputation. He was no Grandpa's boy - not even close. Sure, it helped being born with a foot already in the door, so to speak, but all the hard work and labor had been his own.

Green stared at the table and tried to think of something to say that wouldn't get him in trouble.

"Well, Gramps. I'm going to be honest. I worked just as hard, did all the same things, beat all the same gyms he did...he's not even related to you."

"Sure, he isn't. But between you and I, we know his mother isn't the most supportive person..."

At least he had one person supporting him. At least Red didn't worry about being the black sheep in his family.

Green got up and put his plates away.

"You're mad," Oak observed. "You're upset because I am proud of Red. I never said I wasn't proud of you. Now listen..."  
He picked up his backpack and left, making sure to shut the door as loudly as he possibly could.

Red would not take this away from him. He couldn't. 

His family would have to love him now if he could beat even Red.  
\-----  
He ran into Red on the way back to Victory Road.

They stopped but did not say anything at first. 

For the first time Green realized just how horrible things had gone. 

It wasn't supposed to turn out this way, and they both knew it.

He grabbed Red's arm, gently, feeling him flinch ever so slightly.

"I need to talk to you, one last time. One last time before I become the champion. And I need you to listen to me."

They both stayed quiet for a second. 

"Whatever happened is the past...and I know I can't change what I did...I know you're aiming to be the champion. So am I. I want you to know that I'm not going to lose." 

Red did not move, and did not look at him. His Pikachu seemed to sense something was wrong. 

"I won't lose Red. I'm going to beat you by any means. Maybe you've beaten me before...but I promise you, you won't be able to take this one from me..."

Red pushed his hand away. "You will never learn. I don't know why I even like you."

He was gone before Green could think of anything to say.

He knew he could not lose.  
\----  
In order for Red to win he would need to do a few things.

He would have to, of course, train his Pokemon extensively. They were already amazing - but to be the champion, they had to be better, stronger, quicker. They would have to be able to take anything and return it tenfold.

He would need to prepare himself for change. No longer would he be just some kid from some random town - he'd be a champion, a star, an idol, someone people would know and remember and respect. And he'd have to live up to that for the rest of his life. 

Beating Green was going to be very hard. He felt okay about it skill wise, but the fact of the matter was that defeating him was going to mean the end. They would never be the same, never reconcile, never be able to put it behind them. Deep down he wanted to talk and be buddies again, sleep over at each other's houses, share everything. He also knew this would never happen. They were too different; they didn't agree anymore.

No matter what he did, he would be loosing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of update - I didn't want to post something for the sake of posting, so I waited it out till I had more ideas and more of a plan. I'd rather wait a long time then deliver something with no substance. It's a bit short but I'm satisfied enough with it. This one is more of an end to this particular time. Thank you for all the kind comments and love, let me know what you think!

Green did not feel angry when he lost.

He did not want to look at Red. He should have seen this all coming. He felt foolish for thinking he stood a chance. Foolish for thinking that he could ever compare. 

Watching his Grandpa, the news crew, and the Pokemon League swarm around the new Champion made his skin crawl and his cheeks hot. The whole scenario - the same one he'd envisioned a million times, except with himself as the victor - now seemed ridiculous. Each time he'd thought this through it got better and better. There would be his family, proud as ever, finally seeing him as a champion, someone worthy to stand with the greats. The press would be there too, snapping pictures, filming it all on live television for everyone at home to watch. And he would have so many fans, so many people there to look up to him and respect him and all his hard, hard work. And then there'd be Red, and this was always the best part, he'd get to once and for all prove that he could no longer steal and take from him. 

But this was not his reality, and this was never going to be. In the real incident, he was weak and too apathetic to say or do much at all. Maybe he was supposed to act angry and defiant, maybe he was supposed to shake Red's hand and tell him how great he was. But neither appealed to him and neither seemed like it would help anything at all.  
Why had he not seen this coming?

Oak posed for pictures with Red, smiling ear to ear, something Green hadn't seen in a long time. "We're all so proud of you, Son. We knew you could do it."

He really should have seen it coming; all signs pointed to Red winning and everyone nationwide agreed. Yet somehow, up until the last second, he was sure his imaginary scene was going to come true.

Red briefly looked over at him.

He looked equally as ashamed.  
\-----  
For days, it was all there was. Every weekly and monthly magazine, whether it was local or nationwide, covered the event. All the radio and TV stations played was interviews and stories about the new champion who came out of nowhere and took the challenge and ran with it and won. 

Green stayed in his room most of the time, wondering exactly what point in time it all went completely downhill and why.  
\----  
Red laid in the tall grass and thought about what was next. It was starting to get dark and uncomfortably cold, but it was better than home, far better. He had three options.

Realistically, he would be a star for a little while, used and twisted around until next year, when the new challenge would start, when he would no longer be interesting and relevant. Maybe he would beat all the challengers who made it to him, maybe not. But there would be new trainers whose skills and variety and stories would eventually overshadow his own. In that event he could always go to school or go back to Pallet and live his life as someone who was once the top in the nation.

Idealistically, he would keep building some kind of a career, become more and more famous, and would be set for life. Maybe he could become a gym leader, a professor, some kind of coach or something. He could continue being on shows and magazines and in the eye and minds of the public. Then, when he was a lot older, he could cash in his checks and retire.

Truthfully, he wanted neither to happen. Fame was awful, burning out was awful. Winning wasn't supposed to feel awful, and neither was being a celebrity. There was a million ways the whole thing could have gone, hadn't he done it the right way? As much as he wanted to believe that he was doing what would make his life better off and happier, that felt awful to think too. 

Those people both watching and filming him on TV had no idea who they were really seeing. How long would he have to keep that act up for?

He closed his eyes and thought about how he used to spend his days with his best friend.

He woke up later and made the decision to just leave quietly and spare the world the trouble.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how far I want to take the story for now, but I'm going to at least wrap things up as much as I can! Maybe I'll write a few more chapters - it is definitely going to go further than this though.

Green found himself at home less and less and found himself thinking of the past more and more.

One of the first times he noticed things were different, truly different, was before the incident in the crawlspace, before the Championship years ago.

He was spending the night at Red's house, on one of the many countless times his mother was not home. That was perfectly fine because it meant they could stay up late and eat snacks for dinner and watch whatever show they wanted. Red always had the TV or radio on; how could he sleep with all that going on in the background?

Red eventually got tired and spread out on the floor. Green soon followed; they tried sleeping for about an hour but neither could get there. 

As quietly as ever, Red turned to Green and stared at him. They didn't say anything at first - he now missed that about Red, they didn't always feel the need to talk or do something. 

It used to be charming, Red's mysterious gaze and ability to hide what he was thinking. Thinking back, that gaze now just looked dead.

"Why do the girls on TV all get held when they cry, but the boys are told they aren't allowed?"

Of course, as a child, Green thought he knew the honest, best answer. "Duh, because boys aren't supposed to cry. That's why girls cry, because it's stupid."

"Why?"

If he was asked this question how he'd have a different answer, he'd have more experience and knowledge. But back then there was a lot he denied, a lot he didn't yet know.  
He thought a long while. "Just cause, that's why. I don't know. That's how it is I guess." Questions like that made him uncomfortable, he had no answers and when he tried to think of one it made him start to think too hard.

Red looked at the floor and traced random patterns, his mind clearly working hard. He looked neither sad nor okay. Green found himself hoping his mother would come home from work soon and yell at them for watching TV so late and not being in bed so they could go upstairs and laugh about it.

He never replied but he also never brought it up again.

In the present, Green wondered if he was the only one who noticed these things. Of course, he himself wasn't exactly a normal kid, but he still worried more about if the other kids would think his new bike was tough enough. He knew now it was normal for boys to have crushes on other boys, and that was fine. It was normal for boys to question that part of themselves. It was not normal to spend all day, at ten years old, all alone and left to wonder why. It was not normal to suppress your emotions so deeply that people assume you don't have any. Many people had failed Red. He felt he was one of them.

He was now more at ease with himself at fifteen years old. The world was evolving and moving ahead; there were many things that were okay now that never would have been okay back then.

He wondered what Red thought about it now, wherever he was. Maybe he'd be happy, maybe he'd still be hurt.

As much as he wished he could see him again, Green wasn't sure that it would do either of them any good.  
\----  
As a gym leader, there was a lot he had to do. Each year since his own defeat, the League Challenge seemed to be getting harder. It was unlikely they'd see a repeat of what happened in his own time - the league had caused a huge disaster with their failure and so they had to change a lot.

When he lost to Johto's champion, he had never felt more proud to be a part of it all.

He used to hate losing, now he was happy to shape the future of these kids. Maybe because he knew how absolutely awful it could go for them.

Gold, only eleven years old like Green had once been, so full of energy and hope and far more talented than he himself had ever been. They sat for an hour, talking about tactics and the future, and after listening to Gold's story, eventually the conversation was turned to the expected.

"So, I'm thinking of challenging Red...you know, after I become champion." Gold said, trying to sound serious but coming off as too cocky. "You knew him. Do you think I could do it?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "That's quite a goal there. First you would have to find him. Suppose you did find him. We don't know if he trains anymore. We don't know anything about him anymore." 

The kid did not miss a beat and was clearly not going to take no as an answer. "Oh, I've already thought about that. I'm prepared to look for him. And seeing as he took his Pokemon with him, I'm sure he still battles. So, do you think I'll beat him?"

The idea that the first person to see Red after four years was this kid was maddening but he supposed that it would be fair; this kid was talented and was probably the only one who could come close to beating him.

What did Red look like now? Was he handsome, like a young man should be, or was he still beautiful and youthful? Was he still quiet and private, or had he learned the world was prepared for him to be himself? 

After all he had put Red through he figured he did not deserve to know.

"Hey, are you listening? I'm really serious about this, man. I think I can do it. So do you think it's possible?"

If Gold was set on the idea, then nobody could stop him.

"Go for it. But if you do find him, I need your word that you'll at least let him know I want to hear from him."

Gold happily obliged, and Green didn't know if he was ready.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who supported this and actually liked it! You all humble me, you keep me going, yadda yadda. Anyway, hopefully this does for a finale, it certainly is not my last work, but I'm not yet sure of any other projects! Let me know what you think, that's what's helped me the most!

Autumn was not the same anymore for Green. Each time it came it felt longer and far less easy to get through. Everyone he knew his age was going to school, going out with friends, finding out what they wanted to do - he was stuck with his family and his job he didn't always know if he wanted and nobody to keep him company.

And each year he felt more and more like an outsider to his own life. Sometimes he felt he had made the right choices. Sometimes he felt like he would do it differently. And most of the time he didn't want to think about it. But he knew he was too young to have his future set in stone like this.

Most days were spent battling amateurs and arrogant children. He now understood what the other gym leaders must have thought of him at that age. The only thing he had in common with his old self was that as bad as things got he had a bit of hope left - but even that wasn't enough for him to feel a hundred percent.

Something would have to change, that was for sure.   
\----  
It was not until early winter that he heard back from Gold. 

They met at his gym one evening and caught up on everything (not that Green had much to tell, but he needed someone to talk to). Gold, however, had more happen in a few short months than most people had happen in a year.

Green listened with vested interest. Gold had won not one but two regions and didn't feel like stopping until he dominated the country. He had caught nearly every Pokemon in each region, save for a few rare legendaries. He had managed to befriend most of the bigwigs and officials and get all kinds of endorsement deals. You name it, he'd most likely done it - it was obvious now that this really was what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. 

He told more of his story that he hadn't before - of how he'd manage to befriend his rival (did they actually have rivals now?) and turn his attitude around, made 'his cold heart thaw out'. (If this was the kid Green was thinking of then he doubted how true that could be). He had a loving family who supported his every move, friends, fans, and a possible love interest. 

To say he wasn't jealous would be a lie. His own journey had been quite the opposite - which used to be okay - but lately he wondered what could have changed had he acted more honestly.

And he was sick of lying. So he got straight to the point. "I'm glad to hear that Gold, but did you happen to see Red at all?"

He'd thought about this moment since he met the kid - he'd have to accept it if he said no - he would have to do now what he'd try to do in the past - move on and forget all about it.

But Gold had, indeed, seen Red.

"Yeah, I beat him. So I guess you could say I'm the greatest. He's fine. He didn't know so many people were worried about him! Can you believe that? The second best trainer ever and he thought we'd all forgotten."

And with that, Green felt like he'd exhaled a breath he'd been holding in for years, not listening to whatever tall tale Gold had been telling - thinking instead of the future he could possibly have.   
\----  
The next few days passed without incident; Green found himself mostly battling or spending his free time reflecting on his current situation.

Thankfully Gold had not told anyone about Red. There would be hell to pay on both sides if the media caught wind of such a discovery. He was a man now. He didn't need anything to get in the way of a reunion - not the press, not his family, not the public - he was grown and therefore responsible for his own actions, independent from what any outside source had to say about it.

What did he look like now?

How did he feel now?

He lay his head on his desk and thought back, to the last time he'd seen him. He was fairly short, even for an eleven year old. He was fair skinned, dark haired, pretty complexion. But he could not still look that way - he must have matured to some extent. There weren't too many pictures of them around, the ones he did have he'd looked at enough times through the years to memorize every detail. 

It was easy to get caught up in the portrayal most people believed of them. There was this idea that they'd been friends who, in the heat of competition, lost each other. Friends who had healthy rivalry that eventually got to be too much. Torn apart by victory, they held grudges against each other.

It wasn't even that it was wrong, it was that people knew so little about their situation that it felt almost insulting when they acted like they knew it all. And when anyone asked him about it, which happened less over the years, he had to corroborate this fictional version of the worst years of his life.

Green laid at his desk, continuing to wonder when and if he would see Red again, and how soon it was possible.   
\-----  
It was not until a month later he was able to arrange a meeting.

Gold had sent up a letter for him asking if he was interested in seeing him at all, if things were okay enough to do that, etc. 

Surprisingly, he'd received a letter back, saying that it would be fine, that was something he wanted to do. His handwriting hadn't changed and his way of talking hadn't either. He'd read it a million times since he'd gotten it to make sure it said what it had said the last time he read it. And then once more just to be sure.

But the day came, and four years of frustration, regret, and shame were about to be dealt with out in the open. He had absolutely no idea what could possibly happen, which felt worse than ten more years of agonizing. But the day was here, and there he sat, waiting on the same hill he'd waited at six years ago, in denial about his own feelings. 

And when he saw Red again, he finally understood what those feelings had all meant.

He looked more or less the same, just a little taller, and a little more mature. Time had only made him grow more handsome, with a certain degree of beauty that Red had always exuded. There had always been something fantastic about him, he made people want to look; but maturity had really been kind to him.

The look he chose this time was still somewhat hard to read but the faintest smile was visible and no matter what happened that day, that would be enough for him.  
Green sat up but didn't suddenly felt stupid and didn't know what to do. Red tilted his head slightly and looked confused.

"You wanted to see me. What's your issue?"

"Well yeah," Green felt his face get hot and suddenly wondered if this was a good idea after all, "I did, I just wanted to see you. It's been kind of a while."

"You wanted to see me." Red repeated, as if those words didn't quite make sense. "And you're nervous. I'm guessing you don't know what to say. You didn't plan that far ahead. That's okay."

He sat down and waited for some form of an answer. He hadn't really changed much it seemed, still able to confuse him and question without saying much. But that was okay. If he had changed much this would be much weirder.

"I spent way too much time being upset at you, and yet I never tried to understand you. I guess I was just jealous you seemed to like competition and Pokemon more than you liked me. But I don't think it really was like that. I guess it doesn't really matter now."

Whatever it was Green had expected, this was not it; he sat besides his friend (was that a word that was okay to use now?) and looked beyond him into the grass and fields and wondered if this was reality. If this could really, truly be happening. If this wasn't some kind of dopey day dream, like the kind he had for four years straight.  
Red looked contented and perfectly fine with what was going on and didn't say anything else for a while.

After what seemed like an hour, Green turned over and looked at his companion. "I thought you were either going to be super mad with me or even refuse to see me at all. Everytime I've thought about this I always come to those conclusions. Like, it makes no sense at all. I was awful to you."

Red watched the sun set, possibly for the first time in a long while. "You were pretty bad to me. But I don't think you meant to, at least not really. You were nervous to see me. You were worried of what I would think. And you're the same way now, but I think it comes from a different place. You mean it differently. I'm not really worried about it anymore. If you are, that's okay, but I don't want to carry that around anymore."

"I guess I still do care. I always will, I mean, I never liked you any less than any of that stuff. That was the problem. I've always liked you more than anything else, and I thought rejecting that was better at the time. I care because it was all so stupid. Like, I didn't have to act that way. I just didn't really know what else to do."

It was fine now, it seemed. The worst part was over; the waiting period, when he was left alone with whatever ideas he had. They talked for a few hours; caught up on each others' lives, what was changing in the world, what was the same. Red had trained up in the mountains for a long while, lived somewhere remote and quiet now, and refused to admit Gold had won fairly (which was something he also wondered about himself) but that he was a great trainer either way. For someone so isolated he seemed to be fine, if not better, than when he had left.

Before long the sun had gone down and it felt like they had not missed anything. Unlike how things used to be, they didn't have to worry about their families expecting them back for dinner. Neither of them really talked to anyone anymore either. Despite being separated for years, there were still some deep connections.

Green propped himself up on his elbow and gave somewhat of a quizzical look. "So why did you agree to meet me?"

"I missed you. I like you so much. I just didn't think you wanted to see me again so I never reached out. Why did you want to see me?"

Years ago this conversation could have never ended without some kind of argument or upset that would have them clawing at each others' throats for weeks. But Green recalled what he'd told Gold who, surprisingly, was all nerves when it came to actually telling his crush, the rude little snot he'd been hanging around, how he felt. "Men don't tell lies or be dishonest with the person they love, Gold. If you're serious then man up and do it."

And Green was all man now, without much connection to the scared little boy he'd once been.

“I liked you too, even though you may not have known it. And I like you the same now. I just thought it made me uncool back then.”

A moment passed where both of them looked at each other, both a certain fondness and hopefulness between them. It felt familiar, it felt right. Red stood up, dusting himself off. “Well! It’s dark out now!” he noted, looking more than slightly flustered. “Maybe we should go. Follow me.”

Pouting without noticing it, Green got up as well, and realized he’d never seen his friend in this way before, as charming as it was. They took a late train home and a bus after to where Red now lived, not talking much but not feeling a need to. It must have taken a lot of time to meet him; he lived a lot farther than he assumed!

The small house was deep into the forest, just big enough for one person, not quite cozy but still livable. Green was surprised to find his Pokemon were all very well and even more active than before. 

Red threw his coat on the couch and turned on a light. “Sorry it’s a mess,” which it wasn’t, just slightly untidy, “I never really feel like doing anything so it’s never that nice.”  
They sat together, ate a dinner, and watched TV; nothing really different than what they used to do. Red admitted he was surprised he could get any channels out there, and that some of the shows were ones they used to watch at home. 

Green went with his instinct and gently turned Red’s towards him - what was the worst that could happen, he would stop talking to him and go hide somewhere? - and felt like he’d just pulled one of the smoothest moves of the last decade.

“Are you trying to be cool?” Red asked, not falling for his manly charms. “That was cool when you were ten. You’re acting like an idiot.” They laughed for a while which felt good, it felt normal.

But he didn’t press the issue any further and didn’t want to, because real maturity means doing what you want and not really worrying if what makes you happy is offensive to someone else. 

And if kissing someone who’d made you happy for fifteen years was offensive, then so be it.


End file.
